Talk to me…

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I was reading Kimba’s recent post and she made mention of how boring it is to talk about the weather or exercise. For some reason the post made me think about adult conversation. It seems like there are still all the rules from high school where you are constantly being  judged on how cool you are. And you need to always have something interesting and witty to say but not too political or abrasive. This seems like a tall order to me considering how little of an adult’s time is witty and interesting. Don’t most of us spend the bulk of our time at work? And for the majority of us outside of the arts or politics aren’t most of us moving widgets around for the majority of our time? In my case I am lucky because yes I spend the bulk of my time trading emails, pulling stats for my reports, and site updates. But I work for a VOD company so my co-workers are interesting. They are mostly performers outside of work and you never know what story one might have on Monday morning. But even those tales would probably be boring to a potential date or a friend of mine. So if talking about work is out, talking about chores is out, talking about the weather is out, and talking about physical fitness is out what in the world does one talk about after the initial 30 days of getting to know each other is over?

MNG and I used to talk about everything, all the things you would be afraid to bring up in polite company. I could let my men suck rants flow, my conservatives suck, even sometimes when I was really cranked up white people suck with him excluded of course And it was so liberating to just let it rip what I think about things, mostly what I think is stupid about the world. For example today I went shopping at the World Market one of my favorite stores and there was only one cash register open. When a line began to form the assistant manager walked up to open a 2nd register and gestured for me to come over since I was the next person in line. But when she gestured towards me a mother and daughter who were standing behind me and weren’t very appreciative of Corey flapping in front of them jumped ahead to be served. The assistant manager told them “no I have to serve the next in line first, sorry”…those ladies were steaming mad I mean steaming and my jaw was on the ground because I have to say and I try not to harp on this but a white assistant manager gesturing for me to be helped before the white lady and her mom is just not something that happens much in Charlotte, N.C. And this story although interesting is not one you tell in polite company. But I could tell it to MNG and it was so cool.

But lately his pride is pricked because over the course of our friendship my point of view has changed his mind on a few key things where his point of view although appreciated rarely changes my position. I can’t point to something and say I used to feel this way and then after I heard MNG’s take I changed my mind. And since he seems to keep a score card on everything in his life and competes in every part of his life this has become an issue. You would think since I know what he is after I could just give it to him so we can continue talking the way I love so much. How hard could it be to smile and nod? How hard could it be to say “really I never thought of it like that before”…

But for some reason I can’t bring myself to give in. I suspect if I don’t find a way to let him teach me something every once in awhile this friendship of ours is going to be over and then what? Who will I tell what the highest search terms were for straight and gay VOD last week? Who will I tell about the full brand tribal necklace my friend Q walked into work with? Or the running joke she and I have where she moves all the stuff on my desk while she is talking to me and I say “I am most comfortable when I submit to your will” to get all the guys in the cubicles going? Who will I tell all the crazy work stuff, the interesting NPR stuff, the dumb ass drivers stuff, if not MNG?

And more importantly how about this 95 degree heat? Isn’t it insane how hot it has been this weekend

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Filed under MNG, Work, debate, opinionated, relationships