February 3, 2010

Time to Regroup…

Time to regroup on autism
By Alison Singer, Special to CNN
February 3, 2010 7:38 p.m. EST

Editor’s note: Alison Singer is co-founder and president of the Autism Science Foundation. She has a daughter and an older brother with autism

New York (CNN) — You might not know it to read the news of the discredited research that had long linked vaccines to autism, but there really is good progress on the autism research front.

• A study published last year in the journal Nature identified a genetic variant that could account for up to 15 percent of autism cases. Once we can determine which proteins are associated with various risk genes, we can start to understand the mechanisms of action that may cause autism. And once we understand the mechanisms of action, we can start to develop targeted therapeutics.

• Elsewhere, researchers working with the younger siblings of children with autism are identifying biomarkers that could enable autism to be detected as early as the first few weeks of life.

• Clinical trials are under way investigating a compound that has proved effective at rescuing mice from the symptoms of Fragile X syndrome, which may be related to autism.

• In addition, stem cell and genome scanning technologies hold great promise for autism research.

But all of this has been overshadowed by a seemingly relentless preoccupation with the notion that vaccines might cause autism, despite mountains of scientific evidence that have concluded there is no link. It’s time for us all to put that behind us.

On Tuesday, the medical journal The Lancet retracted the controversial 1998 paper that linked the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine to autism. Last week, the British General Medical Council ruled that Dr. Andrew Wakefield’s “conduct in this regard was dishonest and irresponsible” when he published the research. The panel’s chairman said he’d shown a “callous disregard” for the suffering of children.

The original Lancet publication had launched an era of anti-vaccine activism. At a news conference after the publication, Wakefield said there were “sufficient anxieties for a case to be made” to separate the three vaccines. Vaccination rates plummeted, and measles outbreaks swept across the United Kingdom. Hundreds of children were hospitalized, and several died. Across the country and around the world, parents became stricken with an unfounded fear of vaccination.

Because my older daughter had been diagnosed with autism, I read Wakefield’s study carefully. I followed his advice to separate the shots when it came time for my younger daughter to be vaccinated in 1999. Looking back, I realize now that that decision left her needlessly vulnerable to vaccine-preventable disease and, frankly, did nothing to reduce the likelihood that she too might be diagnosed with autism.

Eventually, Wakefield’s collaborators withdrew their names from the Lancet paper. Later it was revealed that he had received funds from lawyers representing the children enrolled in his study and that he obtained control blood samples from children who attended his son’s birthday party, paying them 5 pounds apiece.

Since the publication, millions of dollars have been spent on multiple international studies examining the Wakefield hypothesis. No study has ever replicated his results. In fact, one study published in 2008 specifically tried to replicate Wakefield’s original work and found no evidence that the vaccine had a connection to either autism or GI disorders. (You can read all the autism/vaccine studies here.)

At this point, we have to be willing to accept what legitimate science tells us. The science is clear regarding MMR and autism, just as it is with thimerosal (a vaccine preservative that has also been implicated in the past) and autism. Multiple studies have failed to show a causal link.

Unfortunately, we still don’t know what causes autism, and that is one reason the vaccine hypothesis has been so sticky, even in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence. But we will never find the answers we need about autism if we keep asking the same questions over and over. We need to move forward.

The problem is, we can never prove a negative. Science doesn’t work this way. We will never be able to say we have done a definitive study showing vaccines don’t cause autism. All science can show is the absence of a link.

Whereas anti-vaccine parent advocates cite personal anecdotes and state that they know with certainty that their child’s autism came from vaccines because “they know their child,” scientists talk about the “preponderance of evidence” and “statistical significance.” That is not the stuff from which good soundbites are made.

Once you put a scary idea in someone’s head, it is very hard to reassure them, even in the presence of compelling science. Anti-vaccine autism activists continue to view Wakefield as a hero willing to take on the establishment and fight for their children.

In the meantime, his research has had a lasting negative effect on children’s health in that some people are still afraid of immunizations. In some cases, the younger siblings of children with autism are being denied lifesaving vaccines, despite mountains of scientific evidence indicating no link between vaccines and autism. This is the Wakefield legacy.

But the aftereffects of Wakefield’s false claims don’t stop there. Thousands of parents of children with autism were persuaded to pursue “detoxification” treatments to reverse nonexistent vaccine damage. At best, these treatments waste time and money. One child died from this “therapy.”

In addition, pediatricians have found it hard to maintain constructive relationships with some families given their implicit accusations that mainstream medicine had harmed their children.

It’s my hope that today marks a turning point. A staggering amount of work needs to be done to make life better for our families, and we may now be able to focus on moving forward with good science as our guide.

February 1, 2010

14 days…

I can’t remember if I have ever taken a two week break from posting. It’s rare that’s for sure. I didn’t start any drafts I could finish and I was barely online for the past 14 days. Part of the reason was V. She was out of town for almost a week and so I had Corey full time. The bus only picks Corey up from home on Monday and Thursday morning. So I had the added bonus of taking Corey to school and having him under foot while Cam and I got ready.

There has also been some drama at Cam’s school with a bully. This kid has been harassing Cam all year but things finally came to a head when Cam was pushed and he hit the kid back. He hit him in front of a bunch of other students. Unfortunately he was suspended for a day for not going to the staff instead of taking matters into his own hands. And to add insult to injury now he has a kid who is about 2 sizes bigger, mean, and now embarrassed after him. And if my description doesn’t give the situation the seriousness it deserves I’ll add his science teacher gave me a call because as he put it “he was concerned for Cameron’s safety”…

And then there is my 40th birthday, which is just a mere 14 days away. Forty years old. Still hard to grasp that number and apply it to me. I wanted to see The Alvin Ailey Dance Company perform next week and after I asked the girls in the book club and a few friends if they were interested and couldn’t find anyone. I decided to buy a single ticket and go alone. So on day 1 of the 14 days before Cat turns 40 list is…I bought the 3 ticket sampler to see the African Children Choir in March, Bill Cosby in April, and Wicked in May. And with that sampler I received the Alvin Ailey ticket for free.

I came in for half a day because school is closed because of the weather, rolls eyes. But after seeing several accidents on the road and arriving at work only to find there weren’t any ice free parking spaces. I have to fix my eyes which have been permanently rolled because of all the fuss over the weather. So I will relent they aren’t prepared in my neck of the woods and yes the roads can be dangerous. I am sure the parking lots and walk ways at the schools were not cleared and yes school should be closed. But the milk and bread runs still get a rolling of the eyes from me I am sorry.

January 18, 2010

MLK…

I took today off because Corey’s day program was closed. V and I both thought it was pretty cool actually because they were open on Christmas Eve for half a day and New Years Eve all day. But MLK? Nope and I have to admit I love that. Anyway school is closed and both my boys are home and I figured instead of struggling and negotiating for child care so I can work. Why not just enjoy this weird pop of 60 degree weather and a 3 day weekend with the only two males who are worth my trouble ;)

I know it’s a shock to most but Martin Luther King Jr. said so much more than “I Have A Dream”…

Being a Negro in America means trying to smile when you want to cry. It means trying to hold on to physical life amid psychological death. It means the pain of watching your children grow up with clouds of inferiority in their mental skies. It means having your legs cut off, and then being condemned for being a cripple. It means seeing your mother and father spiritually murdered by the slings and arrows of daily exploitation, and then being hated for being an orphan. (Martin Luther King Jr.)

January 16, 2010

Conversation Squee part 2…

I had my book club meeting today and during our discussion of yet another woman gone crazy over a man. I said “you know what drives me crazy? it’s the time, energy, and drama women spend on men. i just want to scream hey buy a vibrator! you can get one with bells whistles in any color you desire. it’s a guaranteed orgasm, and it will save you a helluva lot of stress!” and like my conversation with Kellie last week I immediately thought wow I really meant that and immediately after that thought was wow I really did mean it. I am the man hating woman, when did this happen??? And I didn’t say another word. I just sort of shrank back in my seat and let everybody else discuss the book. They are married or dating, they haven’t given up, they don’t see men as the enemy of society, and yet are raising two of them. No that would be me and how the heck did I get here? Ugh.

January 14, 2010

Anxiety and repair…

V made an interesting comment over the holidays about how she purchased 2 new doors to replace the ones Corey destroyed. But she was apprehensive to have them hung without being sure Corey is over destroying doors. This comment which was very offhand sort of “I have to decide if I am going to hang the new doors or not” and it really stuck wtih me. 1st because I never really thought about Corey destroying things when he is with V. Which is crazy of course Corey is Corey no matter where he is. Why I thought he was miraculously not autistic anymore at her house is beyond me. But according to the behavioral plan when Corey was observed at V’s he knocked pictures off the wall, slammed doors, and punched another hole in the wall. When I read the account of the incident and the physician’s recommendations for handling him when he is like this the one word that stuck in my mind was “another”…Another hole??? So both me and V have homes riddled with holes, doors kicked off the hinges, door jams knocked out of alignment?

But the thing that is even more amazing than Corey’s ability to destroy is how suspended you become. I am afraid to fix the holes because each time I would fix one Corey would only make one even bigger in the same spot. There is one place in his room that has a hole 4ftx3ft where he just kicked and kicked almost in a rage because I had fixed the hole while he was at V’s. It felt like “you fixed this again??!!! how many times do I have to kick a hole here before you get the picture and leave it?” So I finally got the picture and he has not kicked or punched another hole since. Of course upon inspection my house looks like a group home. But at least he isn’t making any new damage. But it leaves me waiting, wondering is it ok to have my house back? Is it ok to hang those new doors? Is Corey going to let me have my house now?

January 12, 2010

Can you feel it…

I had my 1st yoga class tonight after work. I am so excited to start a weekly class and to have time for me after work.

I have had this song in my head all week. Can you feel the love? I know you can…

January 10, 2010

The Unthinkable…

“Look, you *do* have a lot to shoulder. You’ve got a psycho for a (quasi ex-) husband, some completely unsupportive family members, and a severely autistic child who is twice your size. It’s a lousy economy, money is tight, stuff is always breaking down, and you have to juggle what to repair first. Holy shit, I don’t know how you manage to hold it together at all!”

Tom I am going to do the unthinkable here and not aww shucks or dismiss your comment. I appreciate very much that you are aware my stuff reaches nervous breakdown levels most of the time.

“but I really hope you don’t walk around all the time thinking that you can’t allow yourself to feel upset.”

Unfortunately I don’t allow myself to feel upset but only because there wouldn’t be much point in doing so. Now I am working hard here not to project the “other” or “strong black woman” image we have already established I hate and frankly isn’t authentic. But truthfully there isn’t much I can do to change the idiot ex, Corey’s autism, my mom’s selfishness, the economy, or my 1970s ranch’s continuous repair cycle. So I don’t indulge in the upset because if Corey is up, the roof is leaking, and my mom has left one of her famous voicemails the only thing indulging in upset will do is keep me up even later when clearly I need all the sleep I can get.

But I genuinely appreciate what you wrote.

edit: oh and I discovered this and absolutely had to share. And also this that sort of speaks to my earlier question about the whys of the “culturally different” argument. And since I am on this isn’t it interesting how Roseanne reacted so typically liberal white at the beginning and so typically liberal white when confronted with the parent? .

January 8, 2010

Topic Press…

“But by all means, I’m okay with you pressing the topic with me.”

Ok 1st- “Personally, I was a bit surprised at this. But this was a fascinating conversation to listen to – at least, as an older, white guy who has not dated much outside his race. I tend to see this a more of a clash of cultures (but that’s because I tend to perceive most things in a sociological context):”

Why were you surprised by the OK Cupid survey when you have admitted yourself although you have dated outside your “norm” whatever that is defined to be in your social circle you have not dated much outside of your race? It seems to me whatever reasons you have for this are the same reasons the white men in the survey have for the low or no interest in black women.

And why exactly is this a clash of cultures in your mind? This is something I always find interesting and believe me it’s not the 1st time I have heard it. What is so culturally different about you and me? Or black women seeking a male on OK Cupid and white men seeking a female? From a cultural standpoint especially in the age of MTV and the internet are we really that culturally segregated still that we aren’t American mostly and white American and black American 2nd or 3rd down the list?

2nd-”And yes, middle-class whites have a different perspective: part of it is a white thing, and part of it is a middle-class thing.”

Class matters I would never disagree with that but it always feels like a dodge or a derailment tactic when I am having a conversation about the relationship between black people and white people. When you look at the OK Cupid link for example that is pretty black and white to me. White men have a strong trend to overlook black women as a potential mate. Why is this?

3rd-Umm… is there something wrong with me for flirting with black women? I… I had no idea. Wow, and all this time that I’ve been holding doors, pushing cars out of the snow, changing flats, etc., for black women, now you tell me that I could have *not* done it, and nobody would have noticed. Well, it’s too late for me to change now. I’m just gonna keep flirting with them.

Ok that comment I really want to press you on because after two days I still don’t know why you wrote it. SulkyGirl and my response to SulkyGirl was in one room and your response felt like it was in a different house. Kellie said it’s just the typical white guy reflex where you wanted your cookie and your pat on the head. The whole “it wasn’t me” complex, you know “Racism is real and I know it happens but me I never do anything like that. I am the epitome of color blindness. I am the guy who teaches the diversity class in my neighborhood didn’t you know?” And still even now I am thinking well wow Tom it’s nice to know if you passed me on the side of the road you would definitely stop but what exactly did my comment have to do with how charming and wonderful you are to black women?

4th-the hair thing I won’t even do the cut and paste because well you basically stuck with “huh” and “I don’t get it” so there isn’t much to copy and paste. I am still leaning towards giving you the benefit of the doubt on the hair thing. Even though I think Kellie hit the ball out of the park in her explanation and I feel like after what she wrote reading and rereading my chat with D should have been unnecessary, D/s or not. But again the hair thing could be outside of your experience. But Tom at your age you have never wondered why you don’t see black women who look like the ones you see in the grocery store in movies or on television? Why there are only 3 black females who can actually be in a movie and when they are they have chinese weave to their hips? I mean come on is it a mystery that we don’t grow hair that grade and that length naturally? And having a white man say anything other than my hair is beautiful was going to cause problems. Especially the “messy products” comment. Egad.

5th-when I came back with “snark really?” you pretty much just repeated everything you wrote before that I thought was weak,” it wasn’t me” derailment, or downright aww shucks I didn’t mean any harm. Which given that you started it all by commenting with the “I am so nice to black women” and then followed that up with “because I was raised with manners and I live in the North” I found it all very disappointing and I said so. All the while still trying to keep this from being a debate sort of thing between you and me when the entire reason I posted the conversation between Kellie and I in the 1st place had nothing to do with such an enterprise. So I tried to continue the honest, real, meaty, and non ranting tone by admitting why I posted the conversation, how I feel conversations usually go, and why I felt this particular one was special. Then you came back with this sort of “yeah I wouldn’t have a social life without the internet response that put me back in the unsatisfied, you still are disappointing me mood I never wanted to give much energy to begin with. My point was actually real life or online we don’t say anything real most of the time. My point was not I blog to appease that, my point was I posted me and Kellie’s chat because she and I do say real things a lot of the time and I think it’s special and I wanted to document it. So to have you finish with the “this was for girls and what was I thinking preening and posturing for attention by getting into it anyway?” comment. Was well…you can see what you did. I have been writing pages in comments and now yet another post ever since.

January 7, 2010

Protected: Conversation Squee…

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January 5, 2010

The other shoe…

cah1470: bachelor article
cah1470:
could it simply be that white men don’t date outside their race?
cah1470:
it’s too much trouble and frankly they don’t have to
cah1470:
and there are plenty of white cheerleader types willing and waiting to get drunk and embarrass themselves on national television to fight for their attention
seikikuurin: ahahahaha, yeah
seikikuurin: and you know whites will get away with only showing white people for as long as they can
seikikuurin: that’s a no brainer
c
ah1470:
I will admit I don’t watch the show
seikikuurin: me neither
cah1470:
but aren’t these folks supposed to be the creme of the crop?
cah1470:
like some 20 or 30 something rich model looking white guy is going to pick a black woman or a mexican as the girl of his dreams on a national television show
cah1470:
pigs will fly first
seikikuurin: hehehehe
seikikuurin: well one did pick a cuban girl but I agree with your point
cah1470:
cuban is as close to white as television diversity can get
seikikuurin: heee
seikikuurin: this is true
seikikuurin: it’s one of those things where it feeds into itself
seikikuurin: the bachelors are always white
seikikuurin: the candidates are always white/maybe hispanic
seikikuurin: maybe there’s some white dude who would pick a black girl
seikikuurin: but is she ever gonna be put on the show? no
cah1470:
and honestly would he pick one on a show like that?
seikikuurin: all that whiteness begets…more whiteness
cah1470:
on the show it would mean something entirely different to pick the one black girl over 24 model pretty white ones
cah1470:
and I don’t think it’s a statement most people on reality tv have the depth to make
seikikuurin: um no
seikikuurin: they are looking for the love of their life on a game show
seikikuurin: depth is not something I attribute to them
cah1470:
ahahaha
cah1470:
yeah
cah1470:
D conversation
seikikuurin: ick!
cah1470:
umm yeah
seikikuurin: he doesn’t know anything about black ladies, does he?
cah1470:
talk about sending me back to my perspective race dating corner
seikikuurin: he hit, like, three no-nos in one conversation
seikikuurin: you should make him read macon’s blog or something
cah1470:
yeah but it’s always right there waiting isn’t it?
cah1470:
or at least it feels like that to me when you cross those race lines
cah1470:
the white guy is always just a hair away from saying something stupid
cah1470:
just a ticking time bomb really
cah1470:
just because it has become politically incorrect to admit to feeling
cah1470:
doesn’t mean the majority doesn’t still have those thoughts
cah1470:
just that most aren’t stupid enough to say it or admit they think it
seikikuurin: yeah, that’s why I like to read macon’s blog, just to probe my own inherent racism
cah1470:
I mean wear my hair natural?
cah1470:
really?
cah1470:
I was thinking did I actually have inappropriate sex with this person?
cah1470:
does he know even the smallest thing about me to make such a request
seikikuurin: I don’t think I am one of those people, but seriously — no white person can read 5+ entries on macon’s blog and not go, “oh shit, I’ve done/thought that”
cah1470:
lol probably not
seikikuurin: and seriously? it’s not like your hair should strike anyone as ‘not natural’
seikikuurin: you wear it very simply
seikikuurin: it’s not like there are braids and weave and beads or anything that can be construed as ‘over done’
cah1470:
exactly
cah1470:
but between you and me even that train of thought pissed me off
cah1470:
I don’t gel my hair or weave my hair
cah1470:
but it felt like saying oh no wait I am assimilated
cah1470:
I am not one of those ghetto girls
seikikuurin: ah, yeah, I got you
cah1470:
which just proves just how touchy the whole hair conversation is
cah1470:
I never wore weave or a curl or the hard hair
cah1470:
but not because I am ashamed of my black hair or because I have a judgment about those styles
cah1470:
hell 80% of the women I know wear those styles
cah1470:
it’s just not me
seikikuurin: yeah, I get you
seikikuurin: what I latched onto as insulting was that your hair is ‘not natural’
seikikuurin: like, what about your hair says ‘unnatural’ to him?
cah1470:
he was looking to have some sort of zena of the jungle fantasy play out
cah1470:
with me as the star
cah1470:
which makes me less than a person really
seikikuurin: yeah, seriously :(
cah1470:
it was one of those moments when I seriously thought ok I am never dating outside my race again
seikikuurin: and also — why should your hair bow to HIS whims anyway?!?
cah1470:
the whole conversation was icky
cah1470:
because I know he would never ask a white girl to wear her hair natural
cah1470:
I mean what the heck does that mean?
seikikuurin: that’d be like some guy telling a white chick, “I really want a blonde tonight, go bleach your hair”
cah1470:
or don’t wear boots or pants
seikikuurin: yeah
cah1470:
I want to fuck a girl not a man and I was thinking oh because I grow a penis when I wear pants and a ponytail???
seikikuurin: that was also icky
cah1470: but it was also about race
cah1470: because even a white girl in jeans would still be feminine in his mind I think
seikikuurin: it reminded me of some stuff on macon’s blog recently, about how de-feminized white men view black women, which reminded me of how you’ve said that before
cah1470: it’s very frustrating
cah1470: to be seen as a mule or a servant girl or something
cah1470: pretty much means you never get treated like a lady
cah1470: I can’t tell you how many times I have struggled with my purse, lunch, keys, trying to swipe my card so I can get in the door
seikikuurin: yeah, that’s exactly what they were saying on macon’s blog, too
cah1470: while 5 smoking co-workers watch
seikikuurin: and see, on a personal level, I think of you as more of a ‘woman’ than I would think of myself because you are a mother and you always look nice lol
cah1470: aww thanks
cah1470: but mostly it’s not even thought of you know like deliberate
cah1470: it’s just “ahh that’s Cat, she can get in on her own”
cah1470: I am not really a girl
seikikuurin: yeah
cah1470: I am supposed to help them carry stuff in lol
cah1470: isn’t that what I was born to do?
seikikuurin: no, you were not born to carry things for white people!! I say no!!
cah1470: ahahaha
cah1470: but I don’t think it’s a conscious thing
seikikuurin: no, but that’s where racism is now
seikikuurin: it’s just the system
seikikuurin: the things we are taught that we don’t think about
cah1470: yeah
seikikuurin: which is why people can talk about all this post-racial crap like it’s the truth
cah1470: like I have a natural negative view of white people
cah1470: a kind of overall cynicism if you will
cah1470: I expect mean things to happen
cah1470: nice things are the exception
seikikuurin: like that post we read by that lady about earning her trust
cah1470: yeah I guess so
cah1470: like if I read something I will investigate it further
cah1470: sort of like OK so what do these white people get for being nice
seikikuurin: ahahahaha
cah1470: because I know they didn’t do it just out of the kindness of their hearts
cah1470: and that’s a pretty big bias to have
cah1470: but I know I have it
seikikuurin: yeah
seikikuurin: but you know, it’s probably served you well
seikikuurin: as many times as it hasn’t
seikikuurin: if that makes any sense
cah1470: sad but true
seikikuurin: well I am sorry, this guy turned out to be a jerkface with racist issues
cah1470: well that’s what I get
seikikuurin: you do not deserve jerkfaces!
cah1470: but yeah the messy hair products comment will stay with me for a long while
seikikuurin: to me, that just feels like he is not seeing you, honestly
cah1470: oh and I want to see foxxy brown? really?
cah1470: I know we have only hooked up sporadically but damn did he not have any small clue into who I am???
seikikuurin: exactly
cah1470: I am not one for the make up and the prada shoes
cah1470: but even my ponytail and slacks has some effort behind it
seikikuurin: yeah, you always look put together
seikikuurin: even if you are wearing jeans and a ponytail
cah1470: thanks :)
seikikuurin: I mean, your hair is always nice, you have a touch of jewelry, nice thought-out shoe choices
cah1470: oh or the Gordon Gecko comment
seikikuurin: maybe I just notice as a girl, but w/e
cah1470: I didn’t post it but my response was Gordon Gecko? When I think ponytail I think Sade not Gordon
cah1470: and he said well you will need a weave like Sade to pull that off
seikikuurin: omg, no way
cah1470: yep
seikikuurin: cat, why do you keep meeting jerkface white dudes?
seikikuurin: I know they are plentiful, but still
cah1470: because any other type of male only exists in fanfic?
seikikuurin: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
seikikuurin: *dies*
seikikuurin: I can see why you keep going back to that not dating outside your race thing
cah1470: it’s impossible
cah1470: sooner or later they are going to do or say something completely white
cah1470: and of course wrong
seikikuurin: hee
cah1470: and the really sad part is I am never really me
cah1470: because I am always waiting for the inappropriate race thing to come out
cah1470: because as I stated it’s only a matter of time
cah1470: so to be on my Ps and Qs the whole time
cah1470: my assimilated ready for the office so you can pay me self
cah1470: and still get the dumb ass comment
cah1470: is very disheartening
seikikuurin: yeah that’s something I don’t think white people (including me) understand about being black, as long as you are around white people, you’re waiting for it
cah1470: yep
cah1470: it’s always right there waiting for a curtain call
seikikuurin: I also sorta get what you mean about the ‘not a girl’ thing, although not in the same way
seikikuurin: but that’s a being fat thing
cah1470: oh yeah definitely
cah1470: I think when it comes to the weight you probably do get a lot of what I mean
seikikuurin: just like even if you acted more ‘white’ than every white in the room, you would still be black
cah1470: yep
cah1470: but worse
cah1470: a black girl trying to be white
seikikuurin: yeah, I had one of those as a BFF
seikikuurin: the oreo comments
cah1470: oh my GOD
cah1470: if I had a ten dollar bill for every oreo comment
seikikuurin: :)
seikikuurin: well, everyone in my family believes I don’t date and the guys won’t have me because I’m fat
cah1470: UGH
cah1470: maybe you just don’t want to be bothered with jerks
seikikuurin: see, this is what I say!
seikikuurin: but no one listens
seikikuurin: I even had a friend who was a tramp and she weighed 200 lbs
cah1470: it’s not like you don’t have plenty of examples to stay out of the dating scene
seikikuurin: so clearly I knew you could get some action and still be fat
cah1470: ahahaha
cah1470: well bbw is a big draw
seikikuurin: ahahahahaha, so true
cah1470: hey there are jerks waiting for women of all sizes
seikikuurin: although I bet a lot of those guys who come home and jerk off to bbw porn are the same ones who make mooing sounds at fat girls in public
seikikuurin: methinks he doth protest too much and all
cah1470: I’ll tell you what I saw some version of larger sized women on some bachelor style show on Fox
seikikuurin: yeah, “more to love”
cah1470: you’ll see that before you’ll see a white bachelor with a diverse group of women
seikikuurin: ahahahahahaha
cah1470: ahh yes that was the show
cah1470: because in america weighing 200lbs is still more desirable than a neck twisting black girl
seikikuurin: I think that’s why some kinds of porn are popular though — even though men are attracted to it, they’ll die before they admit it, so they watch the porn instead
cah1470: ahh yeah probably
seikikuurin: I love how on those shows
seikikuurin: to be a fat girl or an older woman, you have to have a rockin’ ass resume
seikikuurin: you’re a CEO or you have a great job
seikikuurin: then okay, you can still be desirable
seikikuurin: but if you’re a size zero and 20, you can ‘be an aspiring model’ which means you don’t do jack and that’s okay
cah1470: you don’t have to do anything you are a size zero
seikikuurin: but if I went up there as an ‘aspiring’ anything, they would be like ‘I’m not supporting your fat ass’
seikikuurin: I can’t make a comparison about black ladies because you are right, I’ve never seen one on those shows
cah1470: you know what I find funny
cah1470: when you see something like flavor of love or ray j or whatever
cah1470: you do get a small glimpse of how a black guy does it
cah1470: dressed to the nines
cah1470: and yet white guys still think they can show up for a date in flops and a list and black women are going to trip over their tongue
seikikuurin: yeah, this is true, black men do tend to take more care about how they dress than most schlubby white dudes
seikikuurin: white men have just been at the top of the dating heap for too long
cah1470: so the catch is finding a black guy
cah1470: who isn’t a dog, and is weird and varied like me, and doesn’t have some preconceived idea of how I should be
cah1470: hence why I am single LOLOLOL